The Art of Holding Two Truths: The Way of Thinking That Has Helped Me Heal Through Grief

I have never been very good at accepting that life is made up of black and white. The artist in me see’s so many shades of grey and pops of colour in every day interactions with others. Maybe it’s the mental health professional in me that’s experienced the complex depths of mental health in my working and personal life. Perhaps it’s the open-minded yogi that seeks to understands one’s multi-dimensional soul & energy or the grieving widow who searches for the light in the darkness.  Or a combination of all of these that sees’ the humanness in others.

When my (mental) ducks were toppled on their heads and acting a tad disorderly after the passing of my husband – I sought to heal by trying to find some understanding amongst the anger and the pain of what had transpired. It wasn’t straight forward; it did not make logical sense – it was like I was placed in a washing machine and spun out to dry with still so little answers.

I realised what has always afforded me in navigating on this journey – by seeing the greys in life. By having an understanding of what someone is going through and offering compassion even from afar. That seeing life is not lived in black and white and neatness – its messy, emotional and at times painful. That we can see compassion & understanding in another but also hold our own reality. I learnt to hold two (or many) truths at once – even if I couldn’t reconcile them but instead piece them together like a puzzle.

This concept of seeing my new landscape as a collage of events and being able to hold both the pain and the happiness, the light and the dark, my truth and another’s has released me to move forward. I’ve allowed myself to hold the concept that it was not fair and feel the pain but also allow myself happiness and fulfillment (it still doesn’t change that it wasn’t fair). That the situation that broke my ducks also saved and gave them purpose. The beauty about this for me is nothing is right and nothing is wrong – that it just is. I can allow my past and my present to walk hand in hand together like a beautiful, raw and emotional painting that shows a whole spectrum of shades. Because without one, I couldn’t have the other.

That is the beauty in holding two truths – it gives you the freedom to speak and hold your truth and listen to another’s (even if we do not agree with it) and it sets you free to move forward and focus on your healing.

Your ducks are your ducks (as special and non-compliant as they can be) and their ducks are theirs to wrangle. Don’t go adopting others ducks as your own (wink wink).

Holding two truths allows you permission to not have all the answers and still be whole and still live with love and compassion in our hearts. Thats the life and journey i would like to live.

Namaste x